Guts, Over, Fear…

feels like a close
it’s coming to
fuck am I gonna do?
It’s too late to start over
this is the only thing I, thing I know
sometimes I feel like
all I ever do is
find different ways
to word the same old story
ever since I came along
started thinking my name was fault
cause any time things went wrong
I was the one who they would blame it on
had to change my style
they said I’m way too soft
but up until the instant
that I went against it
It was ingrained in me
that I wouldn’t amount to shit, I thought
no wonder I had
to unlearn everything my brain was taught
“do I really belong in this game?”
I pondered
I just wanna play my part
should I make waves or not?
so back and forth in my brain
the tug of war wages on
and I don’t wanna seem ungrateful
or disrespect the art form I was raised upon
but sometimes you gotta take a loss
and have people rub it in your face
before you get made pissed off
and keep plugging
it’s your only outlet
so you know they gonna talk about it
better find a way
to counter it quick
and make it… ah
feel like I’ve already said
this a million times
how many times
can I say the same thing
different ways?
what I really wanna say is
if there’s anyone else
that can relate to my story
bet you feel the same way I felt
when I was in the same place you are
when I was afraid to…..
make a single sound
afraid I would never find a way out
afraid I’d never be found
I didn’t wanna go another round
an angry man’s power
will shut you up
trip wires fill this house
with tip-toed love
run out of excuses for everyone
so here I am
I WILL NOT RUN!
guts over fear
the time is near
I shed a tear
for all the times I let you keep me down
GUTS OVER FEAR!
feels like a close
it’s coming to
fuck am I gonna do?
It’s too late to start over
this is the only thing I
thing I know
I know what it was like
I was there once
single parents
hate your appearance
as you struggle
to find your place in this world
and the pain spawns
all the anger on
but it wasn’t until
I put the pain in story
learned who to aim it on
that I made a spark
started to spit harder shit
learned how to harness it
while the reins were off
and there was a lot of bizarre shit
but the crazy part
was soon as I
stopped saying I gave a fuck
people started to appreciate me
and it just breaks my heart
to look at all the pain I caused
but what am I gonna do
when the rage is gone
and the lights go out
in that trailer park
and the window is closing
there’s nowhere else that I can go
cause there’s no more
emotion for me to pull from
just a bunch of playful stuff
that I make for fun
so, to the break of dawn,
here I go recycling the same old
but I rather make “Not Afraid 2”
than make another motherfucking “We Made You”
now, I don’t wanna seem indulgent
when I discuss
my lows and my highs
my demise and my up rise
I just hope I open enough eyes later on
and gave you
the supplies and the tools
to hopefully use that’ll make you strong
enough to lift yourself up
when you feel like I felt
cause I can’t explain to y’all
how dang exhausted my legs felt
Just having to balance my dang self
when on eggshells
I was made to walk
but THANK YOU MOM
cause that gave me the
STRENGTH
least I made it out of that house
and found a place in this world
when the day was done
So this is for every kid
who all they ever did
was dreamt of one day
just getting accepted
I represent him or her
anyone similar
you are the reason that I made this
and everything you’re scared to say
don’t be afraid to say no more
from this day forward
just let them talk
take it with a grain of salt
the legend of kid
Lives on through you when I’m gone

 

-Em