Dr. Brené Brown: The Two Most Dangerous Words in Your Vocabulary | SuperSoul Sunday | OWN

Kris notes 4/15/18

The Original Definition of Courage: It’s from the latin word KER which means HEART. It was to share your whole story with your whole heart. An Act of courage with an act of storytelling. SO MUCH YES!!!!

“The ego” is the ‘hustler’. The ego says to me: “you have no inherent worth, you gotta hustle for it”, How fast are you going to run? how high are you going to jump?

We now live in a culture that measures our worth based on how many ‘likes’ & ‘comments’ we get.(seriously? I get it…. This is absurd. These damn phones are killin’ us)

We are a ‘scarcity culture’. Never enough. Never good enough thin enough, rich enough, safe enough, certain enough. We are afraid. We have a deep deep fear in our culture.  We somehow internalized that fear. We have a thin film of terror wrapped around us. If its not im not safe enough or secure enough, its im not liked enough, im not promoted enough, im not loved enough, SCARCITY: I DONT HAVE ENOUGH, I AM NOT ENOUGH. At the very bottom.

The number 1 casualty of a scarcity culture is: VULNERABILITY. We shut down. “Im not going to let you know that im not all together”

Vulnerability is not just about fear, grief, and disappointment, its the birthplace of EVERYTHING we are hungry for. Everything we need. Joy, creativity, love, innovation, happiness, innovation etc.

There is no innovation & creativity without FAILURE. We have to be open enough to take the RISK to FAIL

 

 

 

Vulnerability short animation with Brene Brown+ some of my thoughts

 

Feeling vulnerable, imperfect, and afraid is only human. It’s when we loose our capacity to hold space for these struggles.

We become dangerous. That’s one way to describe what is happening to us in our culture. We have no space to be honest about that, to be vulnerable, imperfect and afraid TOGETHER. On a micro level as individuals, w are not our best selves in fear, and collectively we certainly are not our best selves in fear. We’ve grown weary. We are sick and tired of being afraid. Is there a silent growing majority? Of people who who are simply thinking at a basic human level: “I don’t want to spend my days like this”.  “I don’t want to spend every ounce of energy I have, ducking and weaving”. These type of people are onto something.

We cannot move forward without some honest conversations, about who we are when we’re in fear, and what we’re capable of doing to each other when we’re afraid.

It’s not just that the things that go wrong for us are part of our “wholeness”, the vulnerability, keeps us in. What goes wrong for us is part of our gift to the world. It’s what enables us to connect, and be compassionate. It’s a lovely way to think about the HARD possibly excruciating upside of the fact that so many of us are struggling and suffering right now.

One of the deepest paradoxes about vulnerability is: When I meet you, vulnerability is the very first thing I try and find in you, and its the very last thing I want to show you in me. Vulnerability is the glue that holds connection together. It’s all about our common humanity.

When we own our stories, and share our stories with one another, and we see ourselves reflected back in the stories of people in our lives, we know we’re not alone. This is the ‘heart’ of wholeheartedness. This is the nature of connection.

To be able to see myself, and hear myself, and learn more about myself, in the stories we tell about our experiences.

Brene Brown’s stories and research/teachings have helped me survive some of the most difficult times in my life, and made me feel much less alone. I have heavily studied her for quite some time now, watching her videos over and over and over again always picking up something I didn’t see before. We have all carried some level of shame at some point in our lives. It’s only human for us to seek connection, yet we are afraid of showing who we truly are. Being vulnerable is the only way to finding true connection. Connecting with others in a wholehearted way can help release the burden of fear. I have certainly found comfort in some of the most uncomfortable conversations ive ever had with others, and myself.

Brené Brown on Blame + more

Kris notes

Short story by Brené- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZWf2_2L2v8

kris notes- 4-3-18

When something goes wrong, we tend to aim outward and try and figure out “whos fault is this?” – We have all done this at some point or another in our lives.

Brene proceeds to tell a story about spilling a 2nd cup of coffee on herself which is just hilarious. Lol. Essentially the story goes like this: She spills coffee on herself and ends up blaming her husband steve because if he had come home earlier the night before, she wouldn’t have had the 2nd cup of coffee, therefore she would not have had the opportunity to spill it. Classic blame game 101.

Brene is such a good storyteller. This story is absolutely f’ing hilarious.

How many of us go to that place? When something bad happens, the first thing you want to know is who’s fault is it? (I know I have)

Continue reading “Brené Brown on Blame + more”

Brené Brown on Empathy VS Sympathy

Kris notes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

Kris notes. omggggggg

What is empathy? And why is it very different from sympathy?

Empathy drives CONNECTION.- Putting yourself in the other persons shoes

Sympathy drives DISCONNECTION.- Understand from your own perspective

Continue reading “Brené Brown on Empathy VS Sympathy”

Brene Brown- Shows You How To Brave the Wilderness

Kris notes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9FopgKyAfI&sns=em

Kris notes 4-2-18

Brene is becoming a cultural ICON(what you mean becoming, she already IS baby!!!), Woo!!!!!! This information could change your life! Woo!! Top 5 viewed TED talks in the world with over 30 million views??? DID NOT KNOW THAT!! I mean seriously, who spends 16 years studying courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy???? BRENE THAT’S WHO!! #likeaboss. I can feel the love resonating through the computer screen!! It’s taken me a long time to really realize southern accent from teeeeexas.

Okay….okay….. getting to the real stuff now…..

What does true belonging mean? What does it mean to belong?

200,000 pieces of data- in the absence of love and belonging THERES ALWAYS SUFFERING.

Continue reading “Brene Brown- Shows You How To Brave the Wilderness”

Brene Brown- The price of invulnerability TEDxKC

Kris notes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UoMXF73j0c

kris notes 3-23-18

I seriously think I am in love with Brene Brown. I cannot stop watching her videos! Her TED talks. I think this is the 5th~ one, and ive seen them like 5 times each. I have spent hours upon hours studying vulnerability. I get this overwhelming sensation that overtakes me every time I watch her presentations. ITS SO VALUABLE!!! I am in awe. You know that face when your jaw drops, mouth opens and your breath is taken away? Yeah that happened to me about 10 times in the 15 minutes watching this. In fact, ill go a step further.

Continue reading “Brene Brown- The price of invulnerability TEDxKC”

Brene Brown- The Anatomy of Trust

Kris notes

2-2-18

Kris notes, while drunk, yet still valuable. Spell check should come in handy. Kentucky bourbon.

Brene Brown the Anatomy of Trust

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewngFnXcqao

Brene mother fucking BROWN! WOOOOOOOOO!! The woman has done it all baby woo!!!!!

Years of intensive work. Shinning a light on the wounds and showing us how to heal. Whole hearted living, and being strong.

The anatomy of trust baby! Woooooo!! I must add, brene is lookin pretty fine.

Trust is like a marble jar. You share those hard stories and those hard moments that are happenin to you, with friends who over time you filled up their marble jar. They have done thing after thing where you say to yourself, “I know I can trust this person”

Continue reading “Brene Brown- The Anatomy of Trust”

Brene Brown- The Gifts of Imperfection

Kris notes

(brene lookin kinda young here???) this looks like its from the early 2000’s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ck6atQ6xppc

kris notes

We’re going through our lives, and our families at work, believing that we are not enough. This is a serious problem.

Perfectionism is this idea, or belief that if we look perfect, live perfect, and do it perfectly, that we can avoid, or minimize feelings of shame, vulnerability, and judgement.

Brene is a storyteller researcher! Or researcher storyteller?? Which one sounds cooler? That’s what she is.

We are cognitively, emotionally, spiritually, physically hard wired to experience long and belonging, and when we don’t, we BREAK.

Continue reading “Brene Brown- The Gifts of Imperfection”

Brene Brown- Faking It, Perfectionism and Living Wholeheartedly

Kris notes

1-14-18

kris notes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YeulUgWNp8

being a whole hearted person

definition of spirituality is living a open whole hearted life.

1.cultivating authenticity- letting go of what people think

authenticity is a practice, and you choose it everyday, sometimes every hour of everyday. you dont wake up every day and just say “hey im authentic”. are you going to show up and let yourself truly be seen? its a choice to be seen. to be authentic you have to let go of ‘faking it’- fake laughter, fake smiles etc. trying to feel/pretending to feel  comfortable around other people when you are really uncomfortable. you will end up losing your own authenticity. most people do this.

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Brene Brown- 6 Types of People Who Do Not Deserve to Hear Your Shame Story

Kris notes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8Pp7QB6GrE

kris notes 1-4-18

brene says- we need to look before we take the vulnerability leap and choose carefully who we open up to

if we share a shame story with the wrong person, we can easily become a flying piece of debris in an already dangerous storm. we need a solid connection in a situation like this, like a tree firmly planted in the ground.

we want to avoid the following:

Continue reading “Brene Brown- 6 Types of People Who Do Not Deserve to Hear Your Shame Story”