The Original Definition of Courage: It’s from the latin word KER which means HEART. It was to share your whole story with your whole heart. An Act of courage with an act of storytelling. SO MUCH YES!!!!
“The ego” is the ‘hustler’. The ego says to me: “you have no inherent worth, you gotta hustle for it”, How fast are you going to run? how high are you going to jump?
We now live in a culture that measures our worth based on how many ‘likes’ & ‘comments’ we get.(seriously? I get it…. This is absurd. These damn phones are killin’ us)
We are a ‘scarcity culture’. Never enough. Never good enough thin enough, rich enough, safe enough, certain enough. We are afraid. We have a deep deep fear in our culture. We somehow internalized that fear. We have a thin film of terror wrapped around us. If its not im not safe enough or secure enough, its im not liked enough, im not promoted enough, im not loved enough, SCARCITY: I DONT HAVE ENOUGH, I AM NOT ENOUGH. At the very bottom.
The number 1 casualty of a scarcity culture is: VULNERABILITY. We shut down. “Im not going to let you know that im not all together”
Vulnerability is not just about fear, grief, and disappointment, its the birthplace of EVERYTHING we are hungry for. Everything we need. Joy, creativity, love, innovation, happiness, innovation etc.
There is no innovation & creativity without FAILURE. We have to be open enough to take the RISK to FAIL
Feeling vulnerable, imperfect, and afraid is only human. It’s when we loose our capacity to hold space for these struggles.
We become dangerous. That’s one way to describe what is happening to us in our culture. We have no space to be honest about that, to be vulnerable, imperfect and afraid TOGETHER. On a micro level as individuals, w are not our best selves in fear, and collectively we certainly are not our best selves in fear. We’ve grown weary. We are sick and tired of being afraid. Is there a silent growing majority? Of people who who are simply thinking at a basic human level: “I don’t want to spend my days like this”. “I don’t want to spend every ounce of energy I have, ducking and weaving”. These type of people are onto something.
We cannot move forward without some honest conversations, about who we are when we’re in fear, and what we’re capable of doing to each other when we’re afraid.
It’s not just that the things that go wrong for us are part of our “wholeness”, the vulnerability, keeps us in. What goes wrong for us is part of our gift to the world. It’s what enables us to connect, and be compassionate. It’s a lovely way to think about the HARD possibly excruciating upside of the fact that so many of us are struggling and suffering right now.
One of the deepest paradoxes about vulnerability is: When I meet you, vulnerability is the very first thing I try and find in you, and its the very last thing I want to show you in me. Vulnerability is the glue that holds connection together. It’s all about our common humanity.
When we own our stories, and share our stories with one another, and we see ourselves reflected back in the stories of people in our lives, we know we’re not alone. This is the ‘heart’ of wholeheartedness. This is the nature of connection.
To be able to see myself, and hear myself, and learn more about myself, in the stories we tell about our experiences.
Brene Brown’s stories and research/teachings have helped me survive some of the most difficult times in my life, and made me feel much less alone. I have heavily studied her for quite some time now, watching her videos over and over and over again always picking up something I didn’t see before. We have all carried some level of shame at some point in our lives. It’s only human for us to seek connection, yet we are afraid of showing who we truly are. Being vulnerable is the only way to finding true connection. Connecting with others in a wholehearted way can help release the burden of fear. I have certainly found comfort in some of the most uncomfortable conversations ive ever had with others, and myself.
When something goes wrong, we tend to aim outward and try and figure out “whos fault is this?” – We have all done this at some point or another in our lives.
Brene proceeds to tell a story about spilling a 2nd cup of coffee on herself which is just hilarious. Lol. Essentially the story goes like this: She spills coffee on herself and ends up blaming her husband steve because if he had come home earlier the night before, she wouldn’t have had the 2nd cup of coffee, therefore she would not have had the opportunity to spill it. Classic blame game 101.
Brene is such a good storyteller. This story is absolutely f’ing hilarious.
How many of us go to that place? When something bad happens, the first thing you want to know is who’s fault is it? (I know I have)