The vulnerability dream

The dream begins with a few of us routinely playing basketball at nelson court. Us 4 playing basketball including myself, Jose, Jin, and his brother Mike. First, the slight fever. Then us joking around saying “hahaha Jose you have covid you’re gonna die!”, of course none of us truly believed Jose had Covid, we were playing around like “guys normally do”. One of us suggested he take a covid test, for fun. The kind of nonsensical fun some of us had when we all used to get drunk and blow into the digital breathalyzer I bought trying to see who was drunk the most. We all followed Jose to the nearest covid testing place not thinking much of it. These tests came back instantly, Jose was positive. So we decided to take the test “just for fun” none of us believed we all had contracted it, even though we had all rigorously played ball for several hours beforehand.

What had started out as any normal day for those friends and family closest to us turned horribly wrong within a matter of hours. We had all tested positive.  We all drove behind Jose to holy cross hospital. As I parked my car next to his, and watched him barely able to get out of the driver seat once his car was parked. This is when I had a profound realization, “this could be really bad”. Within a matter of an hour, Jose was gone. Dead. Deceased. Forever. Just like that. Friends and families lives forever changed. This is the cruel realization of death, when it comes, there is no notice. It just comes. “But can I have one more day, one more hour?” Death: You’ve had your whole life, why should I give you more time?

Fast forward, Jimmy & I we’re aggressively racing down Randolph road weaving in and out of traffic. I was driving my recently turbo’d z4, while Jimmy was driving his turbo’d s2000. I suppose in this world there are no cell phones. We were trying to drive to Jose’s mothers house to speak of the tragic news. I got caught at georgia ave on a yellow light. Jimmy & I had both reached 130mph on randolph, but I was somehow meek enough to stop at a yellow light. I could see Jimmy waving his hands and screaming, there is a cop behind you, if you dont run this light now, you’re fucked. my house is right down the street, so I run the light, the cop follows. Jimmy gets away, the cop slowly follows me into my house driveway.

I get out of the car looking completely defeated, as my friend as just died. I could careless about breaking the law, the speeding, etc. The cop obviously has no idea, to her it is just another routine speeding stop. I start speaking, you only got me, my friend blew on down the street. I knew you were going to get me, so I just surrendered. I could have easily sped away from you. Why did you decide not to run? I just dont have the energy. Its not important. You know what kind of trouble you’re in? Yeah, probably, as I start crying, honestly though, Im not really concerned, because I just lost one of my best friends within the last hour. i could be gone within the next hour too. Im driving from the hospital, I have covid too, you should probably step back away from me. Patadigm shift. Her entire perspective on the situation changes with the new information at hand. Just like my paradigm shift when jose was falling out of his vehicle.

The story abruptly ends with me talking to the cop about how I had just been married to the love of my life within the past week, and how I had no idea to tell her there was a good chance of me dying within the next hour.

I suppose the moral of the story is to eat your spinach like popeye so you can grow up to be big and strong. Or, maybe, just maybe, routinely tell your friends and family how much you love them because death can be cruel and take us at any random moment.

Author: Kris

Hi my name is Kris, and I am addicted to personal development, and the word DETERMINATION! :) and BRENÉ BROWN!!! And BRIAN JOHNSON!!! Aaaaaaaand WOOOO!!!! 142.

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