Gingerbread house with my aunt debbie! :)

My aunt & I decided to make a gingerbread house today. It took much longer than I thought it would, however I truly cherished all the time spent with my aunt. I don’t know why I am sitting here crying on her couch as I’m about to sleep. Maybe it’s because I wish she was my mom. Or maybe because I feel she is the person who understands me most. I have so much pain. More pain than I ever thought imaginable. I don’t know how much more of the storm I can handle. The ups and downs. Most people think I am very strong but the reality is I am weak. I’m just a vulnerable little boy that put on a mask for 15 years. I just willed my way through things and made some really horrible long term decisions. I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t reach out almost 3 years ago to meet my aunt. She is so critical to my life now. I’ve just started to dig myself out of this fucking mess I created and I feel so lost and helpless. It takes every ounce of energy for me to just even try to get out there and put effort in. I’ve been crying myself to sleep now nearly 3 months and I feel like it’s never ending. I mean sometimes they are tears of joy but mostly pain. Oh the pain is just unbearable. Compared to actual real problems in the world my pain is soft. This is how I know I am so weak. I hope I get a good night sleep tonight. Goodnight world. Please help me. Dad if your out there I need your strength. I really need it. I really miss you and hope to make you proud someday with a wonderful wife and kids, living a fulfilled life of helping others achieve. I jut need to find the right key within myself. #realtalk

A post shared by Kristopher Fraley (@krisfnbs) on

Author: Kris

Hi my name is Kris, and I am addicted to personal development, and the word DETERMINATION! :) and BRENÉ BROWN!!! And BRIAN JOHNSON!!! Aaaaaaaand WOOOO!!!! 142.

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